♥ . It scares me to see where i`ve walked through my life . ♥

Y Monday, October 26, 2009

. Times when it hurts .....

. Couldn`t live with the pain , couldn`t be strong , couldn`t stop . The only happiness i had even left . All my hopes , my dreams to be wif u & u growing day by day in me . U stopped at the week when u`re suppose to hav yr first beat of life . All the unfairness , all the hurts . Itz all on me . Yet u nev stopped it for me . Yet u didn`t wan me to ... I could understand , but .... U didn`t know tat was a test to u . A test tat broke my heart again ... It made me realised tat u`ve nev seen the hurt , u`ve nev seen the unfairness ... I`m the only one . Against the whole world . Not u & me . Fighting these hurts on my own . ALL ALONE ... Yet yr ans made a wrong choice . In still being unfair . In making me realised tat u`ve not seen . Not seen the hurt u`ve done to me . U`ve not seen tat she is the reason tatz hurting me . Yet u gave me tat ans . If having a person but not him protecting u after so much hurts . Watz the point then ..

. The pain of betrayal , the pain of lies , the pain of her , the pain of yr family . THE PAIN OF LOSING EVERYTHING U HAD . THE PAIN OF LOSING YR ONLY HOPE . THE PAIN OF LOSING YR ONLY HAPPINESS . THE PAIN OF LOSING YOU .. THE PAIN OF LOSING YOU !!! . I CAN`T TAKE THE PAIN . I CAN NO LONGER STAY STRONG . THE PAIN OF LOSING YR OWN CHILD KNOWING WHEN SHE IS SUPPOSE TO HAV A HEARTBEAT WEEK !!!!!!!! . ALL THE PAINS , ALL THE HURTS , ALL THE LIES , ALL THE BETRAYAL , ALL THE STUFF SHE GAVE TO ME . DEAR LORD . STOP ALLL THE HURTS . BRING ME AWAY . BACK TO HER . WHY ?? . WHY LEAVE ME HERE , SUFFERING ALL THE PAINS ALONE ?? . WHY LEAVE ME HERE TO SUFFER ?? . WHY ?? . WHY LEAVE ME HERE TO BE THE ONE TATZ NOT DOING ANYTHING & GETS EVERYTHING ?? . JUZ .......... BRING ME AWAY . I WANNA LEAVE . BUT A MOMENT OF TAT COULD END EVERY PAIN . BUT WILL LAST AN ETERNITY PAIN TO MY LOVES .
. I COULDN`T . COULDN`T TAKE THE PAIN ANYMORE ......

. Updated playlist Beyonce`s " Broken Hearted Girl "

P.S: . Itz juz a picture i took from the internet .

YYY
. It seems like juz yesterday when i still hav u in my arms . If only i can be in control of time ...
6:23 PM

Y Thursday, October 1, 2009

. Yesterday , it happened . And i`ll nev forget how u treated me & all those things u did behind me . I cried my heart out last night . Today .... i`ll nev cry for u again ...

. back to relaxing life of living in the high society .

. Apologies for neglecting this page again readers , mayb there`s no more readers tOo ?? . Hahas . Alright, shall blog a lil of my day today . I`m back being sick . Cough , running nose , body ache & tummy ache . Woke up in a cold evening & decided to went down in my bikini for a hot jacuzzi to help clear my block nose . It was great being in a hot tub wif the cold wind blowing . Make me think of the time when i was staying in New Zealand . Seldom Singapore will feel so cold . ( brb , somebody bought Mac fries for me when i`m craving for it . Gonna eat it before it turns cold . Will be back to blog in 15 ?? . )

. Came home & had a milk bubble bath . Picture has no bubbles ?? . Hah , Cuz itz after me bathing in it & bubbles are gone . Finally had sometime to pamper myself . Below are some pictures of the products used during bath . Not as many as i use to put in . But itz essential . Hah .

. One of the expensive bottle . Lancome`s body massage gel . Favourite of mine . It has the same scent of a perfume i had . For massaging & removes dead skin on our body .

. Body Shop`s milk for better & smoother skin .

. Ylang Ylang oil bath essence for relaxation .

. During bath , did face mask too . Itz sometime , really had been . And it feels good . Felt much cleaner , much fresher . Even though i will nev be able tp wash away the dirtiness u did to me & those emotion . But having a cleaner body makes everything feels much better . Came out from a hot bath . Had long sleeves on and had dinner wif family . After dinner . Mooncake & Tea out at the balcony wif family . A healthier , happier & lovelier life wif family . Had medication for flu & cough . Guess i`ll hav a good night slp and prepared for an Advertisement shoot tmr !! . Hah :) stop doing modelling for some reasons . But now itz back to life . Will see ya tmr babe !! . Gonna turn in my comfy bed alone wif my bed lights on & tv on till i fall asleep .

. Life still goes on . Till then i found someone to share all this wif me . . . Gonna tuck in wif baby now .

. P.S : I`ll nev forget . . .

YYY
. It seems like juz yesterday when i still hav u in my arms . If only i can be in control of time ...
10:55 PM