. Friday , 21st March `08
. had a call from bOss tO go back shop help out . will update lat on products u can shop from Dion De Cruz . give me some time yea , hahaha bec i dunnnO hOw to upload video yet . After work met kim , zoe , kai , YL , nic , yan , chee chong , ekachai , stefan , jason ho & kua , ka hng . did i miss anyone else out ?? . hahars . then jen came tO meet me .
. Dear & me . hahahas . juz nice Chee Chong wore whOle bOdy white same as me , sO act as thOugh he`s my dear . hahahars . we suppOrt PAP !! . seriously ..
. after tat went Movie wif Jen , nth tO watch sO watched Semi-pro . eh , tat movie sucks . hahahars . but itz funny la . juz felt tat the story line was not tat good , 2 1/2 star out of 5 . we went tO hong kong cafe tO eat again , here`s a picture take . actually was eating while taking pic , so had this picture taken out this way . hahars .
. after tat WeiBin came tO fetch me , 3 cars from TR got caught & tow in by TP . yeap , he was lucky bec fatty like to eat tatz why had a close call . he fetched me we went tO Bugis big carpark slack a lttile while then he brought me home . reached home ard 5 plus .
Saturday 22nd March `08
. did slept until 11 plus in the morning BECAUSE of the time i came home , did sleep so 8 plus Pap fetch me tO apply PDL for my driving practical tmr , suppose to apply long ago but didn`t hav the time . reached home 11 plus & slept till 8 plus in the night then went town to meet kim , kai , zoe & jen again . jen , kim , ah wang & some frenz which i dunnO together wif me la went tO NIGHTCLUB hahahas where kelvin work . so went there to find him . itz was a nice experience BUT itz not dirty nightclub eh . hahahars , got a room on our own . we did hav fun , and was nice seeing kelvin after so long toO .
. Kim & i in the NightClub .
. as my eyes are swollen la !! . hahahars .
Sunday , 23rd March`08
. woke up at 9 plus , darn early la . but as things were happening in our home or to me ?? . my Pap decided tO invite a FENG SHUI master to see out hse , he`s quite well know . and he will SUAN our life before carry on wif the FENG SHUI thingy to see if we hav fate first . seeing our parents before they then came today . he osO help me & my brO to SUAN our MING . there`s alot of things he said which is true la . juz one thing is he say i`m smart ! , hahahars hav pride . but when it comes to the word LOVE i die on it wif no pride . yeap , true for the last relationship . other than tat . LAZY to type la hahhars . was very tired then went to my driving la . itz was funnn to drive outside . i drove very fast hahahars . and at the turning i did not slow down & drove wif one hand . hahahars . my instructor was young man , at there shout " eh ! engine break engine break ! . don`t drive so fast !! . " i say i`m race queen in process he say ya , u really can be ah . but u gO test like tat sure fail . but fun la . young instructor can enjoy speed like me . hahahahahhars . okie la i`ll stop here . lazy & tired . ciaOs ppl !! .
. SOMETIMES I STILL CRY OVER THE WAY U`VE TREATED ME .
. if all u ever wanted was to leave wif the other , u could juz hav . i was pregnant wif yr baby , i nev thought of u being responsible for it , all i wanted was to hav a new life wif my baby when u left . but u came back telling me how wrong u are , u love me not only for the baby wanting me to forgive u again . tat night , i had u laying yr head on my tummy juz to hear the sound of baby . we smiled and i thought i hav my family back again . i smiled & thought all my suffeings was over . but wat did u do , when u wanna leave wif another . u cursed my baby death .. i pleaded u not to leave , i don`t wanna lose a child & lose u again . i threw all my pride , i gave u my all but why did u treat me the way u did . u lie , u betrayed , u abuse all u could ever do u hav did it . u nev guilt like u said u did , u nev regret like u say u did . i`ve forgiven u again & again . i told u love is abt forgiving as long as u change & nev repeat them . i always believed u bec i always thought the person i love wouldn`t lie to me . again & again . through all this time u nev change . wat can i do ? . i left after the incident tat made me lie on the bed of wards . i`ve can`t even walk out of the ward when i juz wanna go down for a smoke . i lie alone those few days the place far from home . i look outside and remember the times we had . Simei , the place where we always hang out when u`re out . u told me u`ll nev hurt me again , told me u`ll love me no matter wat . i was wrong , i did not treasure u . but did u gave me the time to change ?? . i pleaded u i know tat my way of loving u way wrong pleaded u , pleaded u to give me a chance but wat u did . i left u when i told u itz hard for me to walk away when i really wanna stay is here beside u . i could no longer take it , when walkin beside u on this road u nev cared abt the girl beside u who walked u through yr hard times & good times . i was there on the road wif u & nev left , but being beside u i hav to see wat u`re doing . keep holding on . i pleaded . u nev felt me ...
. now all i wan is my baby back , i don`t care wat others might see or look at me . u nev know how much m baby meant to me , bec when u don`t wan it . u juz curse it die . yes i`m wrong , i didn`t wanna see doc when i hav my last miscarriage , u blamed me . bec i didn`t wanted to waste yr money . bec of tat i didn`t care abt my body and i got blamed . why don`t u say yr CB mouth don`t say wait i got miscarriage ?? . when u wanna leave u can , but why leave me wif nth ?? . u told me if i wan my baby back the only way is to be wif u . but pls , haven`t i`ve suffered enough ?? . haven`t i ?? . not only u , but what ppl ard me is putting on me , my family blamed me for not giving peace to home . and do u think i like to be laughed at or my pain in life be used as a joke to ppl ?? . but wat can i do , u made this joke on me. . . i juz hav to smile it off , laugh it off . how do u feel when all u hav to do is wear a mask to show tat u`re okie after all i`m not okie ?? . when i thought of things all i can do is keep popping pills , when i`m down i could only laugh even louder hoping my fears will go away . all this while how hav i being living ?? . how much u`ve lied & betrayed me how can i ever be wif u again ?? . baby was my own flesh & blood , u didn`t wan it i told ya u can flirt ard and everything but baby is a life , u can nev play yr selfish game . bec baby meabt a life to me . when i had it i always thought no matter how hard it would be my baby would give me strength . i nev wanted u anymore . but juz my baby . i can no longer put things in words . but all i`m hopin is U`LL UNDERSTAND wat this life i had meant to me . pls , give me back . ELJL , all this years . i pray u`ll let me hav a road which i can walk on . give me a way & let me go happily . my life is not suppose to be the way it is . as time pass i`m juz getting use to the hurt & i`ll nev heal from it bec everything u did to me was permenant . juz like a tattoo on my heart & shown . will u understand someday ?? . i can nev express myself wif words well . but can u one day feel me , turn back and see wat u`ve done & tell me u`re really sorry ?? .
. Dear & me . hahahas . juz nice Chee Chong wore whOle bOdy white same as me , sO act as thOugh he`s my dear . hahahars . we suppOrt PAP !! . seriously ..
